Rainbow Dash in the 2412th Century
by AGP1990
Summary: My first MLP fanfic and my third for Looney Tunes. I did this one based on Duck Dodgers in the 241/2th Century with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.


Once upon a time warp, in a galaxy known as Cavallus Maximus, there lived a blue pegasus with a rainbow-colored mane and maroon eyes by the name of RAINBOW DASH IN THE 24½TH CENTURY! One starry evening Rainbow Dash went to see four of her best friends for an important mission. They were Twilight Sparkle, a lavender unicorn with a purple mane with maroon highlights and purple eyes; Fluttershy, a yellow pegasus with a pink mane and teal eyes; Rarity, a white unicorn with a violet mane and cerulean eyes; and Applejack, a light orange earth pony with a blonde mane and green eyes. The y all met on a platform that moved upward until it reached a map of space, on which all but Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, due to being pegasi and thus able to fly, stood as it moved.

"Princess Celestia has sent for you, Rainbow Dash," said Twilight Sparkle, "because we are facing a crisis. "

"Equestria's supply of hipposidium mancellus, also known as the apple seed atom, is alarmingly low," continued Applejack.

"Now we have reason to believe that the only remaining source," continued Rarity, "is on Planet X, somewhere in this area." And with that Twilight Sparkle moved her hoof around a murky off-white area labelled "UNKNOWN."

"And you want me to find Planet X," Rainbow Dash stated. "Is that it?"

"Can you do it, Rainbow Dash?" asked Twilight Sparkle.

"Oh, of course she can," Fluttershy answered confidently, "because there's no pony knows her way around outer space like …"

"RAINBOW DASH IN THE 24½TH CENTURY!" shouted the rainbow-haired pegasus. And away she flew to the evaporator to the airport, passing, as she zoomed, one that went "TO STUDIO" and another "TO SCENE OF CRIME."

Inside the rocket, the Equestria Earthling, Rainbow Dash was making the final preparations for departure. "Are you ready, eager young space cadet?" she asked a pink earth pony with a curly rose mane and sky blue eyes.

"Okie dokie lokie!" answered the earth pony, Pinkie Pie.

"Then make way for RAINBOW DASH IN THE 24½TH CENTURY!" the heroine of Equestria proclaimed, and she pulled the lever. However, instead of going upward into space, all but the top yard-and-a-half of the spaceship went underground. "Oops," Rainbow Dash laughed nervously, realizing her error. "Had the silly thing in reverse." So she put the lever into drive, and away they went!

During the flight, Rainbow Dash briefed Pinkie Pie on her plan to find Planet X. "Now then, eager young space cadet," she said, holding a piece of yellow chalk in her hoof and standing next to a map of space, "here is the course we shall pursue to find Planet X. Starting from where we are, we go 33,600 turbo miles due up; then west in an astro arc deviation to here, then, following the great circle seven radio lubes south by downeast; by astro astrobal, to here, here and here, then by space navigable compass to here, here and then to here and here, by 13-point strato cumulus, bearing four million light years and thus to our destination." With each statement she drew a complex route for the trip, marking Planet X with an Iron Cross. "Now do you know how to reach Planet X?" she asked Pinkie Pie.

"Oh, sure," answered Pinkie Pie.

A flabbergasted Rainbow Dash looked first at the complexities she drew on the map, then back at Pinkie Pie. "Well, I wish you'd explain it to me sometime, gal!" she exclaimed.

"Why, it's very simple, Rainbow Dash," said Pinkie Pie, pointing at a series of planets labelled "A," "B," "C," etc. "If we follow _those_ planets, we can't very well miss Planet X." Rainbow Dash laughed. "Oh, that's ridiculous. Of all the stupid suggestions…" Then she got an idea. "Hey, wait a minute. I think I've got it. I'll just bet that if we follow those planets," she thought, "we'll find Planet X. Gad! How do I do it?"

"I don't know," answered Pinkie Pie as the Earthling continued its journey.

Planet X had dead giveaways around it, as everything appeared to have a giant letter "X" marking the spot. Upon the Earthling's arrival, Rainbow Dash stepped out with a yellow flag featuring the Elements of Harmony on it and planted it into the soil. "I claim this planet in the name of Equestria!" she exclaimed.

No sooner had she planted Equestria's flag than another rocket, the Changeling Charger, zipped by. As the Charger landed its primary occupant, an unnamed Changeling, trotted out with a grey flag featuring a Changeling in the middle. "I claim this planet in the name of the Changelings," it said. "Mm, isn't that lovely?"

"Look, bud," said Rainbow Dash. "I've got news for you. I have already claimed this bit of dirt for Equestria, and there just ain't room enough on this planet for the two of us."

"I do believe you are right," replied the Changeling, pulling out its disintegrating pistol.

Rainbow Dash smirked. "Little does this Changeling realize that I have on my disintegration-proof vest," she said smugly to the audience. She then turned back to the Changeling and said, "You may fire when ready, Gridley." And so the Changeling did, leaving a red vest and the disintegrated remains of Rainbow Dash where she had once been.

As soon as the Changeling left Pinkie Pie appeared, holding an integrating pistol. When she fired it Rainbow Dash reverted to her normal self. "Who? What? Where? When? How? Who?" she asked in a daze, regaining consciousness when she saw Pinkie Pie. "Oh, you, huh? Just when I had him going, you had to butt in! Now get back in that spaceship!"

"Okie dokie lokie!" said Pinkie Pie.

Rainbow Dash raced up to the Changeling with her own weapon. "Ha-ha!" she shouted. "Got the drop on you with _my_ disintegrating pistol! And brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates!" As she pulled the trigger, however, the pistol was what disintegrated. Rainbow Dash looked nervously at what once had been in her hoof. "Heh, well, what do you know? It disintegrated," she said meekly. The Changeling fired its own pistol again, chasing Rainbow Dash back to the Earthling.

Pinkie Pie came out and handed a "birthday present," little more than a stick of dynamite with a pink ribbon around it, to the Changeling. "Happy birthday, you thing from another world, you," she said cheerfully.

"Oh, thank you!" said the Changeling just before the dynamite exploded, destroying its torso. The head on all fours trotted back in defeat to the Charger.

Rainbow Dash was relieved at this. "Well, I guess he's had enough," she said to herself. "I'll send him an ultimatum." From her Ultimatum Dispatcher she fired a bullet, inside of which was a message reading "SURRENDER, OR BE BLOWN INTO 17,670,002 MICRO-CELLS." The Changeling responded by firing its Ultimatum Answerer, launching a bullet-within-a-bullet at Rainbow Dash. In a complete daze she fired the Ultimatum Dispatcher again. This time, however, the message was a simple "OUCH."

After her recovery Rainbow Dash looked at a black-and-white television screen and said, "I'll see what the little stinker is up to on my super video-detecto set." A little static and the screen revealed the Changeling, now angry, very angry indeed, holding a pistol aimed at Rainbow Dash. Then it fired right through the set.

Rainbow Dash was now at the end of her rope. "That's the last straw!" she shouted. "NOW I USE MY SECRET WEAPON!" With that she prepared her weapon, the Equestria Extreme Eliminator, which activated by firing ten highly destructive rocket-mines at the Charger. At the same time the Changeling was preparing its own weapon, the Changeling Charging Chopper, which also fired ten rocket-mines at its target, the Earthling. While neither one knew that the other was planning total annihilation, the intent of both sides was on victory and victory alone.

With sinister, maniacal laughter from both Rainbow Dash and the Changeling, they fired their weapons simultaneously, reducing Planet X to roots and rubble and destroying any presence of hipposidium mancellus. Rainbow Dash and the Changeling stood on top of what remained of Planet X.

"As I was saying, buster, this planet ain't big enough for the two of us," said Rainbow Dash, shoving the Changeling right off, "so… off you go!" Then she turned triumphantly to the audience. "And now," she proclaimed, "this planet is hereby claimed for Equestria in the name of RAINBOW DASH IN THE 24½TH CENTURY!"

On one of the roots hung the Changeling and Pinkie Pie, the latter of whom nonchalantly said, "Big deal."


End file.
